I Do Not Need & The Fall

I Do Not Need 

I do not need to kiss you,
hold you, fuck you.
I don't even need to touch you.
I only need you close
enough to smell that sweet
scent that reignites
the fire that has consumed
me during your absence.

The Fall

I am a leaf—goldredbrown
Drifting down,
Fluttering around
Until I hit
The ground
where I will lie
Until I dessicate,
Whither & dry.

I will become hard,
Brittle, resisting the Earth
That is calling me
Until the sky cries,
Her grace crowning me
King, & I swell
Full of just enough
Life to accept
My fate.

Less Than Self

How is One
supposed to Love 

selflessly
when all that One
has ever received
is love tied to strings
or grandiose things
or worship, which
is not Love at all,
but a need to believe
in someone, something; 

when all that One 
has ever known 
has been a lie, 
or little more 
than inconvenient truth, 
or love out of convenience, 
out of proximity: 
nothing from nothing 
leaves nothing, 

 or less? 

One can learn, 

perhaps only after breaking, 
often destroying, 
the only person 
to ever offer 
selfless Love, 
the one person  
who needed 
Love the most; 
but One was too blind 
& ignorant 
to even realize. 

In Love’s loss, in lost Love’s pain, 
the lesson is learned, 
but often too late 
at a cost that’s too great. 

The Jewel & The Shogun

The Shogun got locked up, again.
The Shogun’s spent quite a bit of his life
locked up, but The Jewel isn’t concerned
about this. The Jewel’s concerned
with how much of their time
together The Shogun will spend locked up.
The Jewel’s concerned with whether to pay
her gas & electric or her rent. She can’t
afford both.

The Jewel’s a sweet girl, sometimes
too sweet. A few weeks ago, her bestie
used $150 worth of her Food Stamp money
& never paid her back. The Jewel has a hard
time turning men down. This often gets
her into trouble. She knows this,
so she’s trying to stay celibate
for The Shogun. That’s really fucking
hard because sex is her favorite thing,
& there’s really nothing else
to do. She can’t watch TV. She can’t
use her computer.

The Jewel’s neighbor, The Yoruban, let’s
her come over to charge her phone. She
was fucking him, until he started getting creepy,
saying shit like, “This pussy’s mine, right?
Tell me this pussy’s mine,” & she decided
to stay away from him. Then she lost her power.

The Jewel recently
rededicated herself
to The Shogun, so she has resisted
the attempts by The Yoruban
to take ownership of her cunt,
especially after learning
that The Shogun will only lose
2 years, plus time served,
which with good behavior could end
up being 18 months or less.

The Shogun got locked up for selling $20
worth of weed. No big deal,
except he was still on probation
for that time he hit that cop. He’s lucky
he’s not serving the rest of his 20 year
sentence. The Shogun’s lucky to have someone
sweet & nonjudgmental, like The Jewel,
willing to wait.

The Jewel won’t.
Eventually, The Jewel will give
in to The Yoruban,
or to one of her many
other suitors. It doesn’t matter,
as long as The Shogun thinks
she’s true, as long as he has something,
someone to rely on, to lessen the weight,
to soften the time, as long as The Jewel
shines.

The Jewel can be honest,
or The Jewel can be true.
She can’t afford to be
both.