Monday, July 29, 2013

These Words Are My Children

DanaeGustav Klimt, 1907
...written some time ago, between 2003 & 2007... ...found today when browsing through old journals.

These Words Are My Children

These words are my children,
floating freely in the lukewarm womb
of my mind, incubated
in the darkest valleys, fed
from my fears & frustrations,
my fury & futility, my fire
& foreboding—floating,
spinning, fighting, kicking
until it feels like I can no longer
hold them in, as if they were about to burst
forth in some great eruption of blood
& brains & meaningless verse.

These words are my children—
each one delivered to the world
after hours, days, years of hard
labor—the more I force,
the more they fight. I push
& push & they dig,
dig their claws into my skull. Would
that it were as simple
as an episiotomy to bring them forth;
I would slice my mouth straight
across & live
at peace with my jagged grin,
if it would promise to ease the pain.
Yet, at the very brink of despair
they ease out—precious
& unsafe. 

These words are my children—
infants to be molded & metered,
measured & mothered
until they have matured
enough to meet the world.
I am sad
when they leave me.
I am ashamed.
My children
lost in a world
where their power
slowly dwindles,
where they will be left
unloved, unappreciated, discarded
& forgotten—lost
in a world where apathy
reigns & truth is devoid of meaning.
& I, their once proud mother,
must suffer 
that pain worse than labor.
I must watch my children

These words are my children—
but alas, I cannot protect them.

They are doomed:
These words are not fertile
enough to feed you.
These words are not elusive
enough to free you.
These words are not intelligent
enough to teach you.
These words are not gentle
enough to touch you.
These words are not powerful
enough to incite you.
These words are not even eloquent
enough to express how much I love

These words are just my children—
from my lips to your ears,
from my hands to your eyes, looking
for homes in your hearts where they might live
if not for the cold,
iron bars.

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